the Bad Santas

Ah, Christmas music; normally the bane of those of us who like to dig through the moldy old record bins in thrift stores. If I had a penny for every copy of Christmas Sing-Along with Mitch that I've flipped past, I wouldn't have to shop at thrift stores anymore. But sometimes you can find gold, whether it's a copy of a relatively hip holiday classic, or a reject from the Island of Misfit Vinyl. Here are some of my favorite Christmas finds...

Switched-On Santa by Sy Mann

Riding the coattails of the ubiquitous Switched-On Bach by Walter (now Wendy) Carlos, this album features a selection of holiday tunes rendered by the multi-tracked bloops and lulus of the early monophonic Moog synthesizer. On average, the music doesn't quite live up to the promise of the cover, but c'mon, what could?

Tijuana Christmas by the Border Brass

This is pure thrift store gold, a collection of gloriously tacky arrangements that sound hilariously consistent throughout the album. This stuff has about as much to do with real mariachi music as that thing on the trumpet player's face has to do with an actual mustache. Yes, fake snow, fake mustache, fake broad Mexican stereotype - but put it on and you're instantly transported back to the Herb Alpert era of music.

Phil Spector's Christmas Album

Originally titled A Christmas Gift to You From Phillies Records, this is a 70s/80s reissue of probably the most beloved Christmas album in rock-and-roll. Released on the same day that Kennedy was assassinated, this platter's reputation has transcended it's initially disappointing sales, becoming an iconic Christmas album and an LP-length monument to the height of "Wall of Sound" era pop. With the mighty Wrecking Crew making a holiday rumble in the background, Spector's usual gang of oversexed girl groups blow these tunes up with a combination of guileless enthusiasm and sugar-buzz harmonies.

But cripes, get a load of that terrifying cover. The original version had a much more photogenic scenario, featuring the Crystals, the Ronettes, and others emerging from a trio of giant Christmas packages. The reissue has only Phil Spector, in a rare festive mood, dressed up as the Santa Claus Without Pity. You know he's probably packing, right?

The Ventures' Christmas Album

Hands down my all-time favorite Christmas album. The virile twang of Nokie Edwards and Mel Taylor's relentless snare rolls packs such a wallop that even the schmaltzy sleigh bells and glockenspiels sound majestic on these tunes. Little snippets of "Walk Don't Run," "Tequila," and even the Beatles' "I Feel Fine" weave in and out as the songs fly by at a breathless pace, only slowing down for the shimmering versions of "Silver Bells" and "White Christmas" that close the A and B sides, respectively.

I found all of these records at thrift stores the last couple of years, and we'll be spinning them tonight in-between the bands at the show tonight. Also have a copy of Elvis' Christmas Album and more. But here's one that I looked high and low for this year, and still couldn't come up with a clean copy. Santa, if you're reading:

Boots Randolph's Boots and Stockings

A set of Christmas standards by the guy that gave us "Yakety Sax," and perhaps more relevantly, the honking, over-the-top sax break in "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree." But this record eschews rock for an appealingly cheesy concoction of swinging Nashville A-team rhythms and perky wood and brass arrangements, all in support of Boots' jolly/bawdy tenor sound. A cartoon soundtrack for Christmas shenanigans of every shade and hue. I covet, and am jealous of the guy that could post this video:

Alright, so now I'll see you all at the show tonight, right? Then check back here tomorrow, we'll have a Christmas album of our very own posted!